The World's Most Perfect Brownies

There are times in life that just call for chocolate.

Around my house or workplace, that would be any day, any excuse. Go to the stockroom for a size? Have a Hershey's Kiss. Face off with a grouchy customer? A slice of cake will make it all better.

In my kitchen, generic chocolate chips from the supermarket hold a medicinal value. I feel that it's good to dose oneself with a small handful of chips every four hours or so to ensure preservation of the highly influential endorphin level. I also think of it as a French response. Instead of eating a large bowl of ice cream, I satisfy the desire for something sweet with four or five Jewel-brand chocolate chips and feel virtuous in the process.

No surprise, then, that my signature recipe is what I like to call The World's Most Perfect Brownies. Cribbed from the middle-brow, always efficient, Betty Crocker Cookbook, then halved again to fit perfectly into The World's Most Perfect Brownie Pan.

Rectangular, metal, used regularly for over 20 years. I'm convinced that there is a feng shui thing going on with this pan. Somehow it's perfectly attuned to making just-thick-enough, very chocolatey, moist-crumbed, almost-underbaked brownies. I was horrifed to observe, in the accompanying portrait, that it appears that the pan is rusted. No, not true. I am not a great housekeeper, but even I wouldn't cook with a rusty pan. I'm sure, instead, that it's batches and batches of brownies endowing the pan with a patina of chocolate.

Here's the recipe:

Ingredients
3 squares baking chocolate
1 stick of margerine (if you have to, butter will do in a pinch)
3 eggs
1 1/2 cups white sugar
a small glug of vanilla
3/4 tsp. salt
3/4 tsp. baking powder
a scant cup of flour (don't sift it, don't measure it too carefully, err on the side of less than a cup)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Melt margerine and chocolate in a large saucepan over very low heat. When melted, stir in sugar, eggs and vanilla. Just crack the eggs into the pan; don't get too fancy here and pre-beat the eggs.

Place the pan in the sink. This is a key step not to be skipped. Add flour, salt, and baking powder. Stir with a wooden spoon (one that preferably has the same feng shui value as your baking pna) just until flour is mixed in. Feel pleased that you put the pan into the sink so that you have no qualms when the flour puffs up and lands outside the pan. This will also ensure that you don't add too much flour; the escaping clouds are an integral part of keeping the brownies moist.

Spray your pan with Pam. I know, but it works and it's easy. Pour the batter into the pan. Smooth it with a spatula. Then give the pan a few horizontal shakes to even the batter out. Place in oven and bake for about 15 minutes.

Start testing the brownies with a toothpick. You want the toothpick to still have some moist crumbs on it when the brownies are done. I often turn the oven off and leave the brownies just a minute or so more after they seem almost done. Remove brownies from oven. Err on the underbaked side. You'll be glad: they keep cooking after you take them out because the pan and batter are still hot.

Try to let them cool a bit before you carve a corner out for quality control. Drink a glass of really cold milk on the side.

One last comment: these are so well-known that I have been asked to send the recipe to at least two offspring, one of whom doesn't recall but actually translated the recipe for an assignment in a college-level Spanish class. It's good to be appreciated.

Comments

Anonymous said…
And the brownies are really, really good -- every time.

C.